Summary of what Compassion is

I just want to share what my classmates and I collectively came up about compassion for the Compassion in Action:Service Learning Seminar course. Our instructor summarize our thoughts:

As we look into compassion on several levels and enter into our work in the work in our communities, the topic of self-compassion is bound to come up. We want to help "be the change" and we want to see progress in both ourselves and the causes/social change work in which we have engaged—now!

For most of us, self-compassion is one of the most difficult practices and is a continual process or journey. This has been expressed in a variety of ways in many of [on Moodle postings]—and is reinforced through spiritual teachings and thousands of self-help books. I paraphrase and quote here from our site (anonymously): It is easier to care for others than for myself. I feel guilty if I care for myself. Self-care is really difficult for me, I have never been good at it. I feel exasperation with an inability to change bad habits.

I feel moved to share something that has helped me in my own personal practice of compassion for self. Whenever I find myself thinking about a fault or weakness I "see" in me, or feel impatient with myself, I deliberately shift these terms (fault or weakness) in my head to a "vulnerability" or "opportunity for growth." It has been my experience that this softens the "self talk" and helps me to have deeper or renewed compassion--for self and others. (Of course, sometimes the use of fault or weakness is actually accurate -- but I always stop to think about it instead of just automatically blaming or beating up on myself.)

Likewise, when I interact with difficult people, people who project and lash out, or continually complain, I try to turn my ideas around these situations, too. A complaint is a "longing unfulfilled," and when people are unpleasant I allow the benefit of the doubt—perhaps they are spiritually bereft, are ill, feeling downtrodden, just suffered a personal loss (such as the loss of a loved one), and so forth. So in this way, I also try to anticipate and "hold" others' vulnerabilities, too. This is not an easy practice, and like many of you also spoke about in your posts, we are not always successful. (Back around to self-compassion.)

We can’t go outward with great compassion—or even write about it for that matter—unless compassion resides deeply and lovingly right where we nest, whatever our nest looks like (single, married, partnered, children/no children, still living with parents, etc).

Of course, I am not suggesting that none of us be involved/become involved in outside causes with which we resonate and through which we wish to help create positive social change! We need to continue with the "outer work." But we cannot forget the "inner work"--which begins with us personally and ripples outwards to our intimate others, our extended families, and then into our communities and the world.

This is not easy, and it takes continual practice and vigilance. And it is some of the most rewarding and necessary work toward world peace.

I like how my instructor Susan provide some wise words alongside our comments and learning. When she said about changing negative words to more positive words, she is reinforcing what I'm learning from my Action Research instructor Janice on word choice. If we use negative words, it won't help us to move and grow in a healthy way. If we change our perspective and use more positive words, we can actually change for the better.