May Day and Update so far

Can't sleep
Can't sleep
I came home last night
around 10 pm
from my Monday evening class
Fame was on
so I watched it
It's a fun show to watch
I love to sing
Love watching other performers
Headed to bed
Tossed and turned
Can't sleep
Errggggg!
Past midnight,
Got up
Read for my EDU 510 class
for a couple hours
Turned off the lights
Went back to bed
Laid there
Thinking a lot
Why can't I sleep?
Got up again
Wrote in my journal
Noticed I haven't written in it
For weeks
Wrote a few entries
Oh, sleep,
I wish I was in la la land.
Now I'm here,
Writing this blog.
Oh, I want to sleep.

By Stacey M.

Anyways, the last few weeks I was stressed. It makes my insomnia worst. I couldn't concentrate on my homework and studies. Last Thursday, the kids at my after school program performed at the Annual ExAcademy Talent Show. For a month, I helped some of my first graders. I collaborated with a girl on her poem. I dictate her words down as she spoke to me. We edit and revise together. Only a couple places I had to vetoed and added repeated lines for a better flow. At the end result, the piece was polished and I was so amazed about her poetry skills as a six year old girl. Truly, the majority of her poem was her actual words. Here is the first line of Ellie's poem: I believe in time and past! Anyways, this experience was the first time I collaborated with a child on a creative piece and it made me want to be a first grade teacher in real life.

A group of boys wanted to act out a skit. Two of the boys had great ideas so I jotted down their thoughts and I wrote up the skit called The Mystery of the Misty Gold Mine (title came from one of the six year old boys). Another group of my first graders want to be in a skit too and a co-worker gave me Little Bunny Foo Foo which many first graders there knew the story already. I spent some time helping the kids practice their act. I have amazing co-workers and boss who also aided in their practice. Debra worked with the girl by putting music to her poem. The girl wanted to sing it while a female friend of hers danced. The kids' parents were amazing too since they help their child prepared through memorizing their lines, working on acting skills and providing costumes. The rest of the first grade group sang in two group songs with the kinders. Next, the K-1 sang with the 2nd and 3rd graders on the song, "This Land is Your Land." It was awesome. So last Thursday evening, my first graders did a swell job. They were amazing. The audience of fellow students, families and friends listened attentively and clapped at the end of each performance. I tried to reach all my students and praised them. Though, a few of them slipped by. The next day, I did finish my praising of the kids I missed.

After that was done, my mind was starting to unblock. Over the weekend, I worked on my homework. I am almost caught up with my Creative Arts class. Though, I'm a few living journal assignments behind in my Monday class. I am plugging away. By the way, the living journal is basically a blank book filled with notes, free writes, creative writing pieces, drawings, visual art stuff, etc on my learning this term. This project is for both my Monday and Tuesday evening classes. It's a fun and unique way to log one's learning, reflections, and notes on what's important to me as a classroom teacher. The instructor for my Integrated Social Studies and Language Arts with Technology class is an in-service 6th grade teacher. She has a modified version of the living journal that her students do throughout this school year.

Why can't I sleep? I think my stress is still around. I tend to be hard on myself. Last night, a classmate of mine said that I was hard on myself. I don't know why. I guess I want to really be successful in my dreams. I failed an undergraduate education program 5 years ago. Since then, I learned so much at my current job. I am better at making my stance and able to manage a group of children. To my final thoughts, I came upon an old journal where an inspirational quote from a dear friend of mine, Sarah from my early college days emailed me a long time ago. She said, "Here is a friendly reminder to tell you that whenever you can't help doubting yourself in whichever way it may be, you are just fine exactly the way that you are and if you weren't you probably won't have the friends that you do or have had in the past, hun. Keep trying not to be too, too hard on yourself."