I know, I should be relaxing since I'm on my Christmas break from school. However, even on my down time, I do love to read. I have been around a kindergarten boy who has Asperger's the last two months and so I wanted to learn more. I heard about the autism spectrum over 5 years ago. So the last 5 years, I have observed or worked with a child with high functioning autism in short periods. I kind of know some basic info on this but I'm am work in progress when learning about autism and Asperger's. (Note: I have met a man who has Asperger's, a friend of a friend. It was interesting talking with him. He must have learned a bit of social skills since he didn't talked my ears off as I heard that some people with Asperger's do. Then again, I am such a patient and kind person who has good listening skills.)
Back to the child I was talking about, he is the first one I am kind of working with who has Asperger's. In addition, he also has ADHD. I have worked with many kids with ADHD so I got that part okay. I'm always learning though. Anyways, I checked out a few books from the library on Asperger's. So far, I only been able to read one book written by a mom who has a son with Asperger's and ADHD this week. It was an interesting read so I encouraged you to read The Best King of Different: Our Family's Journey with Asperger's Syndrome by Shonda Schilling.
Personally, I don't use labels to box people in. Labels are useful for me since I need some kind of basic information for me to get to know people. I do see children (and adults too) more than their labels. There are strengths and weaknesses. But I also see a specialness only God can create in each one of us. I myself was labeled a shy, quiet kid. I wasn't even shy until I cared about what others' thought of me. I didn't like how people boxed me in so that it was hard to really be me in public. By the way, Susan Cain defined shyness as "the fear of social rejection and humiliation." I didn't really feel shy until I was around 10 or 11 years old. Maybe as a little kid, I may get a bit nervous meeting new people or people I'm not familiar with so I tend to be sticking to my mom's side or behind her. I don't see that as shyness, just more about feeling unsure about someone I don't know well. As a child, I socialized differently. I'm a proud introvert. Please read some past entries about introverts and the gifts of introverts. Okay, I did turned out fine. I prefer not to socialize in big group settings like an extrovert who enjoys them. Hmm, maybe that is why I feel a connection to people who are viewed differently in society.
Here is the Top Ten List by Curt Schilling (p. 166-67 of his wife's book mentioned above):
10. It is humanly possible to say "Stop" four hundred times in a ten-second time frame. (Adding that children with Asperger's don't stop their actions or words if you shout or say stop a lot.)
9. You know the exact time you will be exhausted every day: within fifteen seconds of waking your child with Asperger's.
8. At fifteen your Asperger's child will likely have an IQ twice as high as yours and let you know exactly when and how you were wrong every day.
7. Everyone at the grocery store, swimming pool, or other public gathering place knows your child's name, even if you didn't tell anyone.
6. Be prepared to never have the last word in any conversation ever.
5. Pray that if they have any nervous tics or habits, they don't include picking their nose.
4. Be prepared to be presented with more information than any human has the right to know about Legos, Star Wars, bulldogs, Bakugan, Pokemon, dinosaurs, Yu-Gi-Oh!, World of Warcraft, Webkinz, the human skin, bowel movements, and body hair--and hope your child only picks one.
3. Do not fart in public if you don't want everyone within earshot to know who, where, and what just happened.
2. Get ready for serious doses of unconditional love. The heart of an Asperger's child is not bound by society's norms, not limited top lessons we were told and taught, not confused or embarrassed by anything the heart emits. Theirs is a brand of unconditional love we should all pray at night to be exposed to, or to be able to extend ourselves.
(Just want to add, God gives us unconditional love greater than any human can give.)
Drum roll, please....
1. Be prepared to go further than you dreamed, worked harder than you thought possible, to love, and to cry, but at the end of the day wrap your arms around a true gift from God. : )
Children with autism or Asperger's are very sweet and have interesting minds. I enjoy their point of view on things. They can be funny too in that we all laugh together and having a good time. My final thoughts is that each of us are created uniquely in so we can bring our strengths into our world to make it a good place to be. Our unique strengths will help someone else out. Isn't what life all about, to love and to be loved? : )
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