It has been a month since I wrote. I have been busy finishing this term; I've been so fatigued. It took so much effort to finish this term as best as I can. I'm still waiting for my grades. I hope I do well. I started out the term struggling and I ended up withdrawing from a course.
I had meetings with my adviser and the interim chair. The chair did point out my strengths and say I can do anything I want. My adviser supports what I want to do. It has been tough going through a teacher education program again. I worked harder than anyone else in the program. After some deep soul searching, I need to place myself where I'm the most effective with students. I can't be a classroom teacher. In my training, I'm not progressing. I need to place myself that I work with small groups and individual students.
So I decided to changed my program to Master of Education (this one for people without a teaching license). I want to continue to grow and learn for my career path. I'm not sure what my career would look like after I get my master's degree. However, I know my God will help me through. I do feel at peace that I chose this path now. At first, it was hard to make a decision. A couple of friends said, "You can't make a good decision if you're under stress and fatigue. Let God help you and trust in his timing." It was about two weeks ago when I officially had my degree program changed. I am honestly a bit scared because I don't know where I'm going. God is with me. I will be fine.
I'm not giving up. I still consider myself an educator who will try her best to encourage and support my students as well as my colleagues. I worked too hard for me to just quit. I will have a different role in the education field. I'm so thankful for people in my life who supports me.
It's weird that I am not part of Cohort V anymore. But I'll see them again in the Fall since I will be taking the same classes with them. It's so nice to be around people who are so passionate in students' learning and being part of making a difference.
As for now, I'm on a break. I'm not taking any summer classes. I will take this summer to refresh myself. I have one more year to go to earn that Master's degree.
